When I read about the jumping into the lagoon of the 35 years old doctor, I knew something was amiss so I didn’t publish or comment on it. I reached out to my “crack team” and this is a narrative of our findings.
First, I was asked the question, “Martin Beck Nworah, what possible reasons will make a 35 years old guy to have a driver?”
We dug for details and discovered that Dr Orji suffers from sickle cell anaemia and has seizures most times even on duty. To protect him, the family (mum) had to get a driver for him. Because there could be circumstances where he may be driving and will have an attack. To save him and other road users, a driver was employed to drive him around.
Having established his medical condition, it is becoming clear to you the genesis of his depression. As a medical doctor and a young one at that, you have sacrificed your life to keep others healthy but you can’t enjoy your own life. Suffering from sickle cell anaemia is not a jolly good ride especially in a country like Nigeria. You have to fight to be your own motivation.
“But Martin Beck Nworah, that’s not enough evidence to ground suicide. What else might have motivated him?” Well; he is 35, single and in a profession that allows less time to be social. From findings, he is a loner and rarely interacts with anybody. People living around their locality in Lagos attested to this fact. Although jovial and friendly to everyone on the outside, he is reclusive. More like an extreme introvert.
He had attempted committing suicide in the past by jumping down from their building in Lagos but was saved by neighbours. The Nissan jeep he was being driven in that fateful day belonged to the hard working mum who is a wealthy business woman. The father of Dr. Orji died four years ago and given tendencies shown by Dr Orji, the mum decided to take extra caution in protecting her child. At some point, she tried arranging a marriage for him just to lessen his loneliness and to have a companion. This arrangement didn’t work out well.
And you may ask, “If the driver knew of the suicidal tendencies of the doctor, why stop on 3rd Mainland bridge of all places?”
Further findings reveal that the driver of the doctor was recently changed and from what transpired on Sunday, it was obvious the new driver was not properly briefed on the condition or suicidal tendencies of his master. Because if he was, the mere thought of stopping on the bridge on the instruction of his master would have alerted him.
Although many will argue that his medical condition isn’t enough reason to commit suicide, you need to evaluate surrounding issues in his life.
He was an intelligent, dedicated and hardworking medical doctor. The stress of the profession and his almost nonexistent social life fuelled the thought. Dr Orji has two other siblings in the medical line and it becomes obvious the kind of family he grew up in. Everybody was engaged in personal development that little or no attention was given to creating or establishing a strong bond.
From details though not verified, he recently passed an exam that would promote him in the medical profession but having passed the exams, he was denied promotion citing his medical condition as a reason. Although this point is not yet verified, if it is true, then the doctor would have had many thoughts going on in his head.
All indications point to the fact that Dr Orji was extremely stressed out by isolation, work pressure and society’s fake standards that didn’t welcome him to believe there’s a reason to live. If he had close social ties, the tendency towards suicide will be checked from time to time. This is a man who was giving everything he had to make others happy, why couldn’t he find his own happiness? 😢😢
I must stress here that his thought of suicide didn’t just happen. Over the years; life events, situations, insults because of his condition and other issues were piling up in his head. And once a seizure happens, it brings back all those sad memories. At that point, he became tired of having to deal with it. And as he had repeatedly asked himself, is this how I will live this life? 😢😢😢
We must all understand that we are fighting so many battles in this life. We need to be more humane in dealing with each other for you do not know the cross one is carrying. And your actions or words may just nail a decision to end it all.
Everybody is preaching reach out but very few people understand what it means to be in pains, depressed and hurt. I have been there repeatedly and only God saved me with the help of a friend. I didn’t say everyone, just one person who understood me and was able to offer me what I needed. Do you know how it feels to go three or four days without sleep? 😢😢😢 Do you know what it feels like to give others life and yet you can’t live yours in peace? 😢😢😢
We need to start practising what we preach in this nation. We need to sincerely and genuinely start caring about ourselves and the people in our life.
That text, chat, email or phone call can go a long way in giving hope. That little conversation face to face can melt hearts and give life. Never underestimate the power of your words and actions to heal or destroy.
May the soul of Dr. Orji journey in peace.
Till we get to the Promised Land, I shall be waiting for when you will pass me a glass of water and thank God for the gift of grace for the race.
Martin Beck Nworah is a Creativity Expert, Conversationalist and Political Strategist. He writes from Awka, Anambra State.
Source: The Nigerian Voice (opinions)