Contrary to popular belief, men aren’t always roaring to go when it comes to sex! In fact, a new study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine states that 14.4 percent of men reported a distressing lack of sexual interest lasting at least two months in the past year!
Just to assure you that his lack of libido isn’t necessarily about you, here are some of the most common reasons why he may not be in the mood…
• His sexual confidence is low. According to the study, men with low confidence levels in their erectile function were more likely than other men to report a lack of desire. “Even just one incident of erectile dysfunction for a lot of guys can create a cycle where they think it could happen again and their whole libido lowers,” says sex therapist, Dr. Brandy Engler. If your man is having trouble getting or keeping an erection, take the focus off of that for a while and put it onto something else, like kissing or fondling him.
• There are issues with the relationship. You’d be surprised how important the mind-body connection is for men when it comes to sex, says Engler. “If there’s a relationship issue he’s holding on to or resentment he’s feeling, the body is unlikely to respond to desire.” So, don’t be too surprised if guys aren’t always amped for makeup sex — he might still be mulling things over. In that case, it may be worth working things out to see if there are any issues that should be addressed outside the bedroom.
• He is bored. Sexual boredom in long-term relationships was another major reason that men reported a lack of sexual interest in the study. Don’t panic — this doesn’t mean he’s bored with you. While women tend to take this personally, Engler says it’s often not about the woman at all. It could just be that your sex life has fallen into a routine and he’s the one initiating sex. So, try to show some passion, try a new position, or experiment with new sex position.
• He already masturbated that day. It’s totally possible that he got a little carried away without you, and now he’s not feeling as strong an urge to hop into bed. For some men, especially as they get older, they don’t feel as strong a desire if they’ve recently masturbated, says sex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner. Just let him know that next time, you’d like to join in on the fun.
• He’s just not feeling sexy. If he’s just not feeling great, he doesn’t have a willingness to get aroused, which means sex just isn’t on the agenda for him, says Kerner. He suggests taking a little longer with foreplay, kissing, and touching to see if you can get him over it.
• He’s stressed at work. According to the study, stress is the number one reason men reported having a low libido. When you’re stressed and in your head all day, your nervous system is all wound up, your body’s releasing cortisol, and you’re not relaxed enough to experience pleasure, says Engler. If this is the case, make sure foreplay is slow, sensual, and calming —like taking a hot shower together, massaging each other… Anything to relax you both and get him in the mood.
Source: New feed